A DIALOG EXERCISE YOU MIGHT ENJOY SHARING WITH YOUR WRITER'S GROUP OR STUDENTS IF YOU TEACH CLASSES

OFF-THE-NOSE DIALOG

The best dialog is off-the-nose dialog. This is dialog when what isn’t said is the important thing—the subtext. The opposite of that is dialog we might call “Q&A” dialog, that is, where a character asks a question or makes a statement and the responder answers “on-the-nose” or, in a direct response. That kind of dialog often is seen in info dumps where the author is trying to get across information she thinks the reader needs. Writers should try to avoid such dialog at all costs!

Below is an exercise I give my classes you may find useful. I pick two students who act out the two parts (cleverly designated as “She” and “He”). When they’re done, I have them answer the questions that follow, and then they split into pairs and come up with their own examples. It’s a great exercise and most of the students really get into it. Most importantly, it gives a realistic example of off-the-nose dialog and it also provides a great lesson to my students about just how hard it is to write good dialog. Besides helping writers become better at their craft, it also informs students to become better readers. And we need intelligent readers!

DIALOGUE EXERCISE

She: The Bentley's baby was cute, wasn't it?

He: I don't think I saw it. I was in the kitchen with the guys all night.

She: Well, she was a cute little baby.

He: Great. Women think all babies are cute. Ever heard a woman say someone's kid was ugly? I mean, except for Shrek's parents' friends?

She: Brad and Gena seem so happy.

He: They should be. He just got a promotion.

She: Silly! I mean the baby.

He: There goes the promotion. The raise part of it, anyway.

She: I think they'll manage. Babies are worth a sacrifice or two.

He: If you say so.

She: Look at it practically. Their little girl will probably take care of them in their old age.

He: That's a great tradeoff. Let's see... take care of a kid for 22 years—I'm including college—and they stick you in a home for your final three years. Probably use your own money to fund your own old folks' home. Sounds like a good deal.

She: It's not like that.

He: Yeah. Whatever.

Silence for a few seconds.

She: Samantha.

He: Huh?

She: Samantha. They named her Samantha. I think that's cute. I wonder if they'll call her "Sam."

He: They ought to call her "Stinky."

She: What?

He: You heard me. "Stinky." The kid smells.

She: All kids smell when they make a mess. You smelled. Besides, how would you know if she smelled? You said you stayed in the kitchen.

He: All kids smell.

She: Then you change their diaper.

He: Yeah. There goes the entertainment budget.

She: You mean the beer budget.

He: So?

She: So is if you cut out a few beers, you'd have plenty of diapers... and lose a few pounds...

He: You sayin' I'm fat?

She: I'm saying diapers don't cost that much. A six-pack or two.

He: Maybe. But how many six-packs does it cost to send a kid to college?

She (laughing): About what you go through in a week!

He (mutters): Must be a cheap school. All the classes on the internet? The school's in the Caribbean?

She: She'll probably get scholarships anyway.

He: That's cool. That means she'll spend all her time partyin'. End up pregnant.

She: She'll be way too smart for that.

He: Like her mom was?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Who were this man and woman really talking about? What did the woman want? What did the man want? Did either of them come right out and say what they were really talking about?

This is dialogue that isn't "on the nose." It's the way the best dialogue is written. What's important is what isn't said; the subtext. The subtext is the real message that's under the surface of the actual dialogue spoken.

This is what I want you to write (in teams). Two people talking about something that is really being expressed in subtext—dialogue that's not "on the nose." You can pick any subject you want for them to discuss (within reason!). Whatever they’re really talking about can’t be mentioned in the dialog itself. After you deliver your dialogue, the class will attempt to guess what it is you’ve really been talking about.

Time: 2-3 minutes performance time per person. I'd rehearse this so your team falls within the time limit. That’s where I’ll take the most points off, for being short of the minimum.

Notes: You don't need to memorize the exchange but can read off your script.

Bonus points: Your team can gain bonus points if you use props and/or costumes.

That’s the whole enchilada. For those on here who teach classes on writing, you may want to adopt this puppy for use in your own classes or for a workshop if you’re in a writing group. It’s really fun! Especially when participants get uber-creative and come in with props and costumes. I’d tell you about some of the ones students have come up with, but many are R-Rated and even X-Rated and there may be kids up late at night sneaking a peek at this…

If anyone uses this, I’d love to hear how it went!

P.S. If anyone's wondering what the photo is, it's my former wife (and the mother of my daughters, Britney and Sienna) and moi, back in the early seventies... I think we had this same conversation and obviously I lost...) I'm really struck at my fine sense of fashion... I still wear that coat to important functions...