Have some stuff to share--be forewarned, this is long and you may want to read it in parts--an award from crime writer/weapons expert Ben Sobieck for my latest novel, THE GENUINE, IMITATION, PLASTIC KIDNAPPING and a couple of interviews Mr. Sobieck had with me.
Also, be forewarned that there are some instances of violence and stuff the PC crowd will frown at.
The Dubious CrimeFictionBook Awards
There isn’t a crime novel I read
this year that went for broke in the humor department quite like The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping by Les
Edgerton. Edgerton approached this kind of humor in The Bitch, but Plastic cranks the slapstick to
100. It’s more Beavis and Butthead than Three Stooges, but it also contains a
nugget of truth about human nature present in every Edgerton novel.
The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is the only novel that, genuinely, made me laugh out loud.
It somehow turned a forced amputation into one of the most hilarious scenes
I’ve ever read. That takes some doing.
Les Edgerton
is one of the most capable crime writers alive, which should come as no
surprise to anyone familiar with his background. Edgerton makes no bones about
his criminal history, which eventually landed him a stint in prison. That kind
of frankness makes him one of the best interviewees around.
Edgerton’s latest novel, The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping, made my shortlist of the best reads of 2014. At the end of the
novel, Edgerton leaves the reader with personal notes outlining the
true-to-life events that inspired the novel. I couldn’t resist picking his
brain.
Q: I look at KIDNAPPING as THE
BITCH 2.0 in that the cons and humor in the latter are amplified in the
former. Did you write KIDNAPPING with THE BITCH in mind?
A. Not at all. Actually, I wrote
KIDNAPPING many years before I did THE BITCH. If there are similarities, it’s
only because my mind and world-view works fairly consistently.
Q: Your notes at the end of the
novel say that KIDNAPPING is your way of getting back to writing "simply
to entertain and get a laugh from readers." What were you burnt out on
that you needed to get back to that?
A. Just unrelenting seriousness in
the last few books I published. Just thought it was time for a few chuckles.
It’s the original reason I began writing as a tyke in short pants—to entertain.
Well, and to score chicks, but that doesn’t always work out the way you hope it
does.
Q: You wrote a screenplay version of
KIDNAPPING. What's the status on that?
A. Same as ever, I guess. Just
hoping someone asks to see it. It’s listed on InkTip and that’s about it. I get
looks at the logline and sometimes at the script, but so far nothing much has
happened. That’s my fault, I know. It’s just too energy-draining to keep trying
to market things and I’d rather spend the time writing. Hollywood’s a young
person’s game, totally. Over the age of about 35, it’s pretty well over as far
as pitching stuff yourself. It’s really a matter of somehow getting the right
person to read it.
And, the “right person” means an A-List actor or director
who sees it as something that can help their career. I keep thinking that there
are a few folks out there who if they ever got to read it would be interested.
People like Woody Harrelson and the guy who plays Charlie on “It’s Always Sunny
in Philadelphia” would be the perfect pair as Pete and Tommy, for instance. If
anyone knows them I’d love to get the script into their mitts. I don’t know who
I see playing Cat—she’s honestly better looking and sexier than any actress I
can think of off the top of my head. But, I think whoever played her would find
it a star-making role.
Q: You confess to taking part in
prostitution in the novel's notes. Not as a john or pimp, but as a passive
participant of the "services rendered." Any concerns about sticking
that into the public eye?
Nah. I’m no longer a minister, so
what would I lose? Come to think of it, I’ve never been a minister so I don’t
know what harm it does to have folks know. I thought it was kind of cool at the
time—I mean, who gets to cut coke lines, drink top-drawer booze, in a world-class
hotel, watch a couple of world-class call girls work out and get paid for it as
well as taken out and treated to a fantastic meal at Gallatoire’s? Kind of the
dream gig, in my opinion. I was also an escort for a long time for a top New
Orleans escort agency where I was the companion for older, wealthy women, and
trust me, that beats working on the boot line at the Goodyear plant.
Q: The character of Cat is also
based on a real person. You even used her real name. From your notes at the end
of the novel, the character doesn't sound half as nuts as the real-life version
you described. Any worries about that coming back to bite you?
A. Hopefully. I miss her! I’d love
for her to show up and take another shot at me—are you kidding? That was fun!
She was without a doubt the most exciting person I’ve ever known. She was much,
much bigger than any fictional character. Her mother sold her to Carlos
Marcellus when she was 8 or 9 for a bag of weed (Mom was a junkie) and then Cat
made the career-ending mistake of turning 12—way too old for this “Romeo” and
he turned her out. She went down to the Quarters and survived by prostituting,
rolling sailors, dealing drugs, etc.—anything to survive—and I met her when she
was 25 and a top call girl.
We had a lot of chuckles together.
She tried to kill me a bunch of times and it was just plain exciting. That
sounds probably worse than it was---each time, it was on the spur of the moment
and she was over it quickly and we went on as per usual. I loved living on the
edge with her. She’s probably dead by now—can’t imagine her still alive,
although it’s possible, I guess. But, she doesn’t read much, so she’ll probably
never read the book.
If it gets made into a movie,
chances are better she’ll see it. She’s in my memoir, ADRENALINE JUNKIE,
extensively, and if it ever gets published she might find out about that. HBO
Films wanted it a few years ago and were all ready to film it but the book deal
fell through or it would have been out. The prez of HBO read it and said it was
“…a PERMANENT MIDNIGHT, but with balls.” I think that’s high praise, but then I
never thought Jerry Stahl’s story was that big of a deal. If I’d grown up in
suburbia and had an allowance and lawns to mow when I was a kid, I might have,
but his deal seems mostly kind of “poor rich kid falls down and skins his knee”
kind of hi-jinks. He spirals into the cocaine abyss because he was too smart to
be writing ALF? Cut me a break.
By the way, I wouldn’t call Cat nuts
at all. She always acted within the perfect logic of her personal experience.
If she hadn’t been a little “nuts” she probably would have been killed years
ago.
Q: Like your other novels, this one
is based on your past experiences, and you make that known in your notes at the
end of KIDNAPPING. Given those experiences landed you in prison, were they
worth it for the sake of writing books later on? Would you change anything?
A. Nope. Not a thing. It was all
great material. Actually, I knew I was going to prison a long time before I got
there. It takes cops forever to catch someone if they don’t want to cooperate,
but I knew I'd end up there and it didn’t bother me at all. Now, after having
been there, I wouldn’t have been so anxious to arrive, but even so, it was all
worth it. You can’t buy the kinds of experiences I’ve had—they’re priceless. As
for the price of writing books, whatever that is—Faulkner got it exactly right
when he said: “The Ode On a Grecian Urn is worth any number of old ladies.”
Perfectly said.
Q: Does it ever rub you the wrong
way to see other crime writers try to play up a tough guy image without having
actually lived it the way you have?
A. It used to, but not really. I
just don’t buy many of them as having much experience along those lines and it
shows. It seems like it’s always a kind of a shuck—that they’re just trying to
sell wolf tickets and anyone who understands “Jeff Chandlerin’” (a term we used
to use) knows these guys are harmless and fold pretty easily. When I see
so-called fictional “outlaws” hanging out in strip clubs and having all these
choreographed fights it’s just funny. No actual outlaw hangs out in strip
clubs—those are mostly for losers and wannabes—and I don’t know anyone who
fights like John Wayne in real life and lives very long. I really don’t ever
want to hang with someone who thinks strip clubs are cool or are some kind of
outlaw milieu.
I was lucky. I was an outlaw when
outlaws were really outlaws. Now they all seem to be meth users and druggies
and those were creeps in my day. I’d be ashamed if I had to get drunk or high
to rob a place—seems kind of sissified and punkish. We didn’t have all these
gangs in my day either—no secret handshakes and all that crap. Most jobs I did
on my own and the only ones I ever had trouble on were done with others who got
caught and then rolled over on me. Pull your own crimes and the odds of getting
caught are greatly diminished. Some folks don’t have the balls to do that,
though.
There are so many untrue myths about
criminals. That you can’t make a living and will always get caught. The
amateurs do. The druggies do, I guess. I still know guys who’ve been robbing
places all their lives and haven’t even sniffed a bust. It’s the same crap
about gamblers. I made my entire living as a gambler for four years and never
lost money. I’ve done things that are still open under the statute of
limitations I can never write about but know how to do things and get away with
them. I didn’t quit pulling crimes because I had some kind of come to Jesus
moment—I just plain don’t like the food in the joint or the restriction of
movement. It’s a lot better on the bricks.
Recently, I had this hoary old agent
contact me after he read my story in the Springsteen anthology and thought I had some “ability”
and wanted me to send him some stuff. On a lark, I did, especially when I found
out he used to rep a former criminal we are all aware of. It got weird when he
asked what I was writing currently and I told him it was about a hitman who
made all his hits look like accidents and this dude wrote back and said that
would be impossible—that such a hitman hadn’t existed after 1977 (still don’t
know where he got that), and I sent him a clipping about a friend of mine—Kenny
Vincent, the nephew of Marcellus who is an old friend of mine—who has
“acquaintances” who do exactly that today. This old fart made the mistake a lot
of people do—if it isn’t in their life experience they don’t believe it can
happen. Another “expert” who, as it turns out, is mostly impressed by his own,
limited experience. That turned out to be the end of our correspondence—he
didn’t want to be challenged, I guess.
Q: The "N word" comes up a
few times in KIDNAPPING. You mention in the notes that a screenwriter you
worked with, a black man, thought its use was appropriate given the context.
Why'd you feel this was important to highlight to readers?
A. Good question! And, I’m ashamed
to say that I was probably covering my butt. Me, who hates being PC! We all
have our weak moments, don’t we? Actually, I don’t care if anyone was insulted,
but my black friend assured me that there was nothing racist in it so… And, why
do we say “the N Word,” when it’s all right to say “honky?” It stands for
“nigger” and that’s a perfectly good word. Mark Twain used it and he’s probably
our best writer. It’s just a frickin’ word. Where’s George Carlin when you need
him?
Our language is getting horrible.
It’s like the terms “invited guest” and “home invader.” That seems to be the
same difference as legal immigrant and illegal alien. Logic in language seems
to have fled the culture…
Q: The message underneath the comedy
in KIDNAPPING, at least from my point of view, is that what's important to a
person depends not on the who or the what, but the how. Perception is reality,
and if you can manipulate how something is perceived, you can change its
importance to a person or a group of people. Is that what you were going for or
am I totally off? If it is, are you suggesting that most of day-to-day
existence is the result of people conning each other, both legally and
illegally?
A. Great question! And, of course
the answer is yes—there’s probably not a human exchange in any day of the year
in which both parties are completely honest and without an agenda. It’s what
being a human is. We’re all involved in a shuck with each other. We all want
something from the other person. The trick is to want something they want to
give up. And, that’s just about everything. It’s an ongoing negotiation and
game, all the time. It’s what we are. It’s why we constantly go around
proclaiming we’re honest to each other. None of us are. Outlaws are the most
honest and preachers are the least honest. Whenever a guy tells me he’s a
Christian and shakes my hand, I always count my fingers afterward.
Q: You recently had a bout of COPD
that you said on your blog could have been, "the big one." Given how
close to the razor's edge you've lived, does this bother you? In other words,
of all the ways it seems you could've bought it, does going out with COPD seem
inappropriate?
A. Yeah. My dream has always been to
get shot by a jealous husband when I was 99 and climbing out a bedroom window.
COPD just seems so fucking inadequate.
Q: What's the last movie you
watched?
A. Can’t remember in a theater.
Haven’t been to a theater in probably 20-30 years. I think it might have been
CITIZEN KANE. The key word is “Rosebud” in case anyone hasn’t seen it… Last
movie I watched at home was one of my favorites, NATURAL BORN KILLERS. Woody
definitely knows how to play a bona fide outlaw. He’s a guy I’d love to have
beers with but I’d make sure I was sitting with my back to a wall and had a
weapon handy. Oh, and I just watched ONCE WERE WARRIORS which is one of my
all-time favorites.
Les Edgerton's The Bitch is one of the most
arresting crime novels I've read this year (no pun intended). It chronicles
ex-con Jake Bishop's attempts to avoid "The Bitch," a slang term for
"habitual criminal." It's similar to the Three Strike Rule. Jake
already has two strikes when a prison buddy calls him up for one last job.
The yarn itself was
compelling on its own, but I suspected I was reading a story-within-a-story.
Author Edgerton served time in the same prison as his Jake character. His
colorful past is already well-known in the crime fiction world, but I still
wanted to pick his brain. How much of the story was true?
Fortunately, the author
was more than happy to do an interview. Here it is, unedited and unfiltered.
Just 100% pure Edgerton. Read the whole thing. His real-world answers could
put fiction to shame.
P.S. Click here to buy The Bitch on Amazon. It's available at all other
fine e-retailers, too.
BEN: It's impossible not
to compare the lead character in The Bitch, Jake Bishop, to yourself. You both did time
in Indiana's Pendleton Correctional Facility, for example. Was The Bitch catharic to write?
LES: First, a small correction. When I was in
prison, it was “Pendleton Reformatory.” Only, it wasn’t a “reformatory,” but
one of the two Indiana maximum prisons, the other one being Michigan City. The
only difference between them was that cons 30 and younger were sent to
Pendleton and cons older than 30 went to Michigan City.
The “correctional
facility” is a recent name change and nowadays they have a juvie facility in
addition to the main prison. While I was there, then-President Johnson
conducted a national study and concluded that Pendleton was “the single worst
prison in the U.S.”
And, it was. There were
eight riots during my stay, not including the one I walked in on when first
sent up.
As to your question,
Ben, writing it wasn’t much in the way of a catharsis at all. For a couple of
reasons.
One, I’ve written about
my experiences there in many of my previous novels and short stories, and so
the “catharsis” value has pretty much been exhausted by now.
And, two, I’ve never
lost a lot of sleep over my experience there. I was a criminal and going to
prison is just part of the deal of being “in the life.” That “If you can’t do
the time, don’t do the crime” is pretty much the way it is. Just a part of the
job description. Criminals are pretty good at compartmentalizing things and
when you’re in the joint, you’re in the “zone” and not outside, on the bricks
in your mind, and when you’re out on the bricks, you don’t waste a lot of time
thinking about the joint.
I see a new breed of
criminal today on TV where these guys are crying when they get caught. What
kind of punk cries?
BEN: One of the themes
throughout The Bitch was having to make a bad choice in the pursuit
of something better. For example, kill Person X to save Person Y, yet create a
new problem with Person Z. It's almost like the game is rigged. Does this
reflect your view of the world, that we're doomed to a certain fate no matter
what we choose?
LES: Ah! So you’re asking me if I have a Calvinistic
view of life—that predestination thingy!
Well, on Monday’s I
think that, and on Tuesdays I don’t. On Wednesdays, I don’t care.
To be honest, on most
days I don’t care. I have a different vision of morality and God and all that.
Most days, I fit the definition of a nihilist quite accurately. Expediency is
what gets me through life.
For instance, I don’t
perform criminal activities any longer and it’s not because I had some kind of
“come to Jesus” moment or some kind of epiphany. I’ve just weighed the pros
and cons of performing a criminal act and since I’ve been there (inside the
walls), I have a clear idea of what that’s like and so far I haven’t come
across a crime whose possible rewards outweigh the possible penalties.
If I ever do, I’m pretty
sure I’m off that good citizen dais and out there doing the crime. But, it’ll
have to be the perfect crime with an enormous upside. At my age, to go back to
the joint is a certain death sentence and I’m not quite ready for that.
Incarceration really is a good deterrent once you’ve experienced it.
BEN: On that same note,
Jake is sucked back into the world of crime despite trying to get as far from
it as possible. Is this a fear you were exorcising through Jake's character?
LES: Not really, but I can understand Jake
completely. He’s the guy I could be if I had a moral view of the universe.
Except, he’s really kidding himself that he’s a moral person.
In the end, he’s as
nihilistic as I am. Not trying to come across as some kind of “badass” hardened
criminal type, but I really don’t feel like I have a lot of fears. I’ve done
time, been homeless, been shot at, been stabbed, had just about everything you
can imagine thrown at me and can never remember feeling anything at the time
than the same thing—that what was happening was interesting and would make
great material for my fiction.
Detached is the best way
to describe my feelings at any of those times. I’ve always thought “what’s the
worst that can happen” in any situation I’ve been in, and never has that “worst
thing” been all that bad.
It’s the feeling I had when
I was in a shootout with what I thought were cops in a grade school and it’s
the feeling I had when my call girl girlfriend Cat had stabbed one of my other
girlfriends and was trying to eviscerate me. “What’s the worst that can
happen here?”
In those cases (and
others) the worst was death, and hey… nobody gets out of life alive, so what’s
the fuss all about? It’s going to happen to all of us (death) and if you
worry about it, it seems to me that you’re kind of… what’s the word?... oh,
yeah… stupid. It’s going to happen at some time, so when it does
what’s awakened is a feeling of avid curiosity. What’s it going to be like?
BEN: "The
Bitch" refers to the slang term for "habitual" criminal, which
others refer to as the "Three Strike Rule." Wind up in prison three
times, and you're "out" for life. Advocates of these laws say they
deter crime. Yet in your novel, it seems to encourage it. Jake will do anything
- no matter how extreme - to avoid a third term in Pendleton. Which side of
this issue do you fall on?
LES: These “law and order” types—politicians and the
media, especially—don’t have a clue what deters crime. Or, rather, I suspect
they do, but their agenda isn’t to keep people out of prison. It’s to gain
votes for pols (for being seen as “tough on crime") and for viewers and
readers (in the case of media.). It’s sexy and it’s popular to appear to
exhibit the attitude of “lock ‘em up and throw away the key.” The things they
do don’t deter crime in the least.
Here’s what deters
crime. Barber school. (I’m using this as an
example.) When I was in Pendleton, I had a much higher degree of education than
most—I’d graduated high school and spent four years in the Navy and was a
radioman and cryptographer. The average educational level of my fellow inmates
was about third grade. When most of these guys got out—and most do get out,
which straights don’t seem to realize will happen—they have no skills to gain
any kind of meaningful employment. Which means, they’ll be on the street again,
with no way to gain money for a meal, for a place to crash, for any of that.
So, they’ll end up doing what they know how to do. Stick up a 7-11, sell drugs,
break into a place.
Well, Pendleton at that
time operated under the philosophy of rehabilitation. They actually meant it.
The barber school was the best “lick” in the place and inmates fought over
getting in. The reason was, the training was the best in the country and as a
result barber shop and hairstyle salons were waiting in line to hire us. On the
bricks, a guy in a civilian barber school got to cut maybe 1-2 heads of hair a
day. He went to school for seven months. In Pendleton, we cut 12-14 heads a
day. For at least two years and often a lot longer. When we were released, we
were just far, far better at cutting hair than anyone else. Our services were
valued and highly. I had to field offers of employment from literally hundreds
of places. Guys from civilian barber and beauty schools couldn’t buy a job.
They took our leavings, basically.
The result was, about
82% of us stayed on the bricks. We made serious money and got married. Bought
homes, joined the Rotary, had kids and coached Little League. Why? Because we
had excellent jobs. I was making $500 a week in 1968, which was great money in
those days and it went up from there. Legitimately.
And, as great as the
barber school was, it was virtually the only program in Pendleton that had this
kind of success rate. The reason was we learned a very marketable skill. The
second-best lick was the machine shop. Theoretically, guys could learn to be
machinists and go out and secure a good job. The problem was, the machinery
they learned on was outdated by at least 50 years and so the inmate who’d gone
through that program wasn’t much better off than the guy who worked in the
laundry or in the chow hall. The barber school program was a huge success and
showed what was possible. Very few guys who went through the barber school came
back.
But then… civilian
barber students started protesting that all the good jobs were going to ex-cons
and support for the program went away… Lock ‘em up and throw away the key…
The thing is, nothing
the “authorities” do these days deters crime. I can’t think of a single
thing. Warehousing criminals is the worst thing to ever happen for a lot of
reasons space doesn’t allow me to go into here. What’s needed is a realistic
look at criminals and prisons and the wrong-minded approach pervasive in
corrections today, but that’s a pipe dream. Too many people making a lot of
money off crime and I’m not referring to the criminals.
BEN: "Prison
rape" is often the punchline in a joke. The Bitch takes a different approach and details the
long-term psychological damage of rapes behind bars. The survivors might be
prisoners, but they're still human beings. Is that a point you were trying to
make?
LES: First of all, “prison rape” doesn’t go on
nearly as much as straights think it does. It’s actually fairly rare. If
one were to believe movies, books, and comedians, one would think it’s all that
goes on in the joint. And, it doesn’t.
In fact, in my two+
years inside, among over 2,000 inmates, I was aware of maybe 5-10 such
instances. There were more going on, I’m aware, but those were all I was aware
of. This is one of the biggest myths perpetuated. It’s not a sexual
thing—it’s a power thing and most often between blacks and whites. Whites don’t rape blacks as a
rule, but blacks will often try to rape whites. In their minds, shows they’re
in control.
I got hit on twice in
two years. The first was in jail, not prison, so only one time in prison. And,
that came about after I got my parole and made the mistake of talking about it.
(You don’t tell anyone as there are lots of guys who can’t stand it that
someone’s getting out and they’re not and they try their best to fuck up a
guy’s parole.) A black guy got in my barber’s chair (a no-no—blacks don’t sit
in white barber’s chairs and vice versa, unless one of them’s a punk), and told
me he was going to make me his kid.
I’d made up my mind what
I was going to do if that ever happened and I did exactly that. Grabbed my
straight edge and went after him, trying to cut his throat. Chased him all over
the barber school and then Jonesy, a black hack, caught me, ran me into the
office, locked the door, and took the black inmate over to his dorm. Jonesy
could have written me up—and he should have—but he didn’t, which saved my life
as I would have lost my parole and I knew if I had to do the whole five years
of my bit, I’d have to kill the dude who fronted me and once I did that, I’d be
in there the rest of my life. So, Jonesy saved my life, in my opinion.
The guys who get hit on
are guys who are all alone. In Pendleton, that meant guys from small towns who
weren’t career criminals before and didn’t know anyone. I was from South Bend
and had been pulling jobs for years and knew everybody from South Bend and so
had all kinds of buddies who had my back as I had theirs. A good example of
what happens is one day a new kid came onto our tier from a small
town—Tipton—and he seemed like an all-right guy, albeit naïve, and I kind of
took him under my wing. Well, a black dude started romancing him (although the kid
didn’t realize what he was doing)—giving him cookies, cigarettes and all that.
I warned the kid that he
needed to get away from this guy, but he was convinced the black guy was just
trying to be friendly. He was. A week later, he’d turned the kid out. Big-time.
Not just for himself, but he put the kid on the block. First thing he did was
get a ball-peen hammer and knock out all the kid’s front teeth. (Better for
blow jobs.) A week after I’d tried to warn him off, the kid was roaming the
aisles on movie day, giving blow jobs to other inmates for cigarettes and
green, turning them over to his new “friend.” Sad, but he was too ignorant to
know when help was offered him.
But, that’s where most
rapes come from. It’s just not a common deal at all. It wasn’t something most
of us even think about or worry about at all. Seems to happen a lot in
movies and in novels written by writers who don’t have a clue.
All that said, I’ve got
rape in THE BITCH, don’t I! But, both took place in jail, not
prison. One is far more likely to be raped in jail than in prison for several
reasons. One, many guys in jail haven’t done time so all they know is from
books and movies. So, they try to imitate what they think goes on, especially
black guys. Not trying to come across as a racist, but it is what it is.
Second, and more
important, guys in jail are hours or mere days away from being under the
influence of drugs and that makes you do things and act in ways you wouldn’t
when sober. Third, often guys in jail haven’t made the alliances they will in
prison and so are more at risk. Jail and prison are vastly different animals.
Your original question
was if I was trying to show that survivors or prison rape were still human
beings. Well, not consciously. I simply assume they are (still human beings). I
think a lot of straights think all criminals are rapists, child-molesters,
serial killers and the like. The fact is, the vast majority of convicts are
involved in crimes of property more than in crimes of person. Far more guys
inside for burglarizing bars and gas stations, for stealing cars, for sticking up
7-11’s, for check-kiting, for assault on the wife who they walked in on as they
were banging their best friends, than are in there for the crimes commonly
portrayed on TV.
So, yeah; I think most
of the guys inside are still human beings. Books, TV and movies are all engaged
in sensationalizing prisons and are a long way off from any accurate portrayal.
That series on MSNBC is typical bullshit—if a person believed that show,
they’d think most inmates are pumping iron all day long or are total nut jobs.
Totally unrealistic show, but if they showed the boredom that prison truly
is, ratings would plunge.
BEN: You're candid about
your colorful past, even writing about it in your bio on your website. Why? As
you point out in The Bitch, people can react negatively to finding out
one is an ex-con.
LES: For years, I did just that—kept my past secret.
Then, I got tired of listening to people who usually had it all wrong. The
truth is, most criminals are pretty much like your average citizen. Not that
many hang out in strip clubs, have tatts, use drugs and drink like there was no
tomorrow. Not that many have killed someone. Not that many have raped or been
raped in the joint.
If you took the
population of the average prison and set these folks down in the food court of
your average mall and dressed them “normally” I doubt if anyone looking at them
or listening to them would ever think they were any different than anyone else
who might be in the mall. In fact, the average citizen probably talks to an
excon every week and doesn’t have a clue. At one time, for instance, I could
walk into just about any barbershop in Indiana and almost always someone
cutting hair there would be someone I knew from Pendleton. The average lame who
came in for their haircut didn’t have a clue. Well, we’re out there in your
neighborhood.
Some of us are working
in fast food, some are selling insurance, some are working on your car, some
are taking your dry cleaning and handing you the pickup ticket, some are
managing movie theaters… you name it, ex-cons are doing the same jobs and
living the same lives as anyone else. Remember, I was a college prof (still
am), was in college and elected student body president, worked as a reporter
for The South Bend Tribune, sold Prudential life insurance, worked as a
headhunter for an executive recruiting firm—in short, did a whole bunch of jobs
that, if you believed bad novels, bad movies, and bad TV wouldn’t be the case.
But it is. We’re (ex-cons) are in every segment of life on the bricks and doing
virtually any job you can think of.
BEN: Let's wrap up with
a lighter question. What would be on the Les Edgerton sandwich?
LES: A tunafish sandwich made with the recipe of
this place I used to go to in Bermuda. I’ve never tasted anything like it
since. And, I don’t even like tunafish much, but this sandwich was awesome.
Second choice, would be fried oysters.
Thanks for having me on,
Ben. This was fun!
Well, there you go. Hope you got a bit of a kick out of these.
Ben has the definitive book on guns and knives coming out from Writer's Digest this summer. To get a preview and to preorder a copy, go here.
Blue skies,
Les
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